Boyfriend tells 22-year-old girlfriend he won't consider marrying her until she makes $100K annually: 'I make around $45K as a teacher, and I have a second full-time job.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jan 16, 2026 8:00 PM EST

She needs to end this relationship yesterday. 

Finances should never be a barrier to getting married. If you both love each other and want to be legally wed, it's cheap and easy to go down to the courthouse to get hitched. You might have to take a day off from work and get a couple of buddies to be witnesses, but you can get married even when you have very little in your bank account. 

Having a wedding is a whole other story. You could have a wedding in your backyard for a couple of hundred bucks, but most couples want something a little fancier than that. The most expensive weddings can set you back six figures, and even more modest ones cost half of what some people earn in a whole calendar year. 

The problem is that many couples want to get married and have a wedding at the same time. They don't want to get hitched in an unglamorous courthouse ceremony only to wait three or four years saving up for a swanky wedding. They want to have their wedding cake and eat it too, and there's honestly nothing wrong with that if you are both willing to wait to get legally married! After all, if you can stay together for the time it takes to save up for a wedding, your relationship is probably going to be more secure than the relationship of those who get married after six months of knowing each other.

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  • A man and a woman sitting on a set of stairs
    via Gabriel Ponton (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Before you decide when you're going to get engaged, you have to decide if you're going to get engaged. Couples often talk about when they plan to get engaged before the question is popped, and the couple in this story is no exception. The problem is that the boyfriend clearly does not want to marry his girlfriend. The financial ultimatum he proposed is a relationship-ender.

  • Am I the bad guy for getting frustrated at my bf for telling me I need to make more money to get married?

    I (female 22) am frustrated with my bf (male 24) because he said I needed to make more money before he would talk about marriage with me.
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • For backstory we have been together for around 2 1/2 years and I've been through a lot together.
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • I will probably sound like an idiot in this post, but I need honest opinions on this that are not biased by my friends.
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • We have had a lot of ups and downs in our relationship, but at the end of the day, we're very similar and keep each other grounded.
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • He has had a little bit of a wandering eye, but we have worked through it.
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • We had broken up for a little while because of him texting other women inappropriately. He was the one who kept coming back and wanting to be together.
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • A man and a woman hugging each other
    via Gabriel Ponton (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I truly love this man unconditionally, and they say love makes you blind. He has known that I've always wanted to get married and that has been a goal of mine.
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • He has been open to it, but has not been a goal for him. He told me after we got back together, he thought a lot about it and he would like to marry me, but I would have to at least make $100,000 before he would consider it.
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • As of right now I work as a special education teacher and make around 45,000 and I have a second full time job, I have always. worked very hard so it just hurts for him to tell me that.
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • I plan to go to school in August. He is going to school for NP in August as well.
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • We split everything around 60/40 since he does make more money than I do right now.
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • We got into a huge argument because I said in my happy little world I'd like to be engaged in about 3 to 4 years and then plan a marriage after we are all settled and have everything figured out.
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • He told me if that's something that I want. He's not gonna give it to me and to look elsewhere, he told me he didn't understand the point of an engagement, and he believes in always looking for better, and that is stupid to get engaged young and put a hold on his life.
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • A close-up of two people holding hands engagement
    via Daniel Gutko

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Mind you we have very similar interest and very similar goals that we can achieve together.
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • I told him an engagement would show me that he is truly committed to this relationship working and he just didn't understand where I was coming from.
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • Would I be the asshole to leave him over this argument? We have a couple big trips planned in the coming months (one I paid for and one he paid for) but I'm just over trying to make everything work.
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • Every time I go to leave he tells me 'future plans' he's had with me all along and how much he loves me.
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • I'm just gullible because this is the first real relationship I've been in so it makes it harder to walk away.
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • BookishIntrovert99 He's not going to marry you even if you make that much money. He's already made it clear he doesn't want to marry you. So leave. You won't get what you want from him.
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • CrazyOldBag How many red flags do you need? He has a wandering eye. He's told you he's not really interested in marriage. He's told you that you need to more than double your income. He's told you he's always looking for better. Good grief, girl. Get some self- respect. If he's the best man your area provides, you need to move somewhere else FAR away. This is not the man you want to marry. In fact, no self-respecting woman should want to marry him! Get some therapy along with the self- respect;
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • Patient-Midnight-664 YBTA if you stay. >he believes in always looking for better He's told you who he is, believe him.
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • mamativa You know those contractors that quote a really high price for a job they don't want to do, because hey if they're hired at least they'll be paid well? That's what he's doing to you. NTA, leave him.
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • EmceeSuzy YWBTA if you don't leave him over these statements. He loathes you.
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • Maximum-Call4685 As a man, I can tell you that he doesn't love you. He only values you for what you can provide to him and in this case its money. Please leave hima and find happiness elsewhere with someone who values you.
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • Plumblossonspice This money thing is an excuse. The bit that's him being truthful? 'He doesn't understand the point of an engagement and believes in always looking for better.' This really doesn't scream 'I love you, you're the one for me' does it? This man is not the one for you. The one for you will believe you're the better that he's found. This one's just comfortable where he is and is actively still looking, just not at you. I know it's easy to get stuck in a rut and the fear is always abou
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • Alarming Plum571 You lost me immediately at "wandering eye". Why are you making excuses for shitty behavior? I mean, ultimately it's up to you if you think he's worth your time, but I think you've already answered your own question...take out the trash and move on with your life with someone who actually LIKES you. Or alone and happy!
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179
  • DarkRoast_n_TooSweet Don't waste your precious years on a man that doesnt love you. Im BEGGING YOU. It will hurt at first, then in a while you'll meet the man of your dreams, and you will be sick to your stomach that you ever wasted one second with this person. I spotted at least 6 red flags, 3 of them nails in the relationship coffin. Please walk away. God bless. "You can always tell how much you love yourself, by the person you are with."
    via u/Pretty_Strawberry179

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boyfriend salary marriage teacher girlfriend career breakup engagement money toxic relationship
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